Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
