you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
