i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
