My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
