Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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