I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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