I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
