We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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