hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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