She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
