dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
