just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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