I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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