so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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