Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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