The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
