Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
