did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
