I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
