Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
