In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
