I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
