Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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