You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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