What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize