Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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