haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
