There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
