it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize