Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
