I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
