All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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