it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
