it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
