yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
