And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
bring money and cleavage
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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