butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
