it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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