is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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