sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
