My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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