I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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