Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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