It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
