I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
