no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize