I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize