his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Drunk is not a location!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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