the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
