I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
