Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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