it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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