Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
