you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
