the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
