adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
