I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
