I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
