Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick

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(502): View more from Kentucky

so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?

(954): View more from Florida

Why wouldn't there be.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo

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(816): View more from Missouri

this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?

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(319): View more from Iowa

Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.

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