If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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