I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
worst night to have a conscience
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
