Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize