Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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