kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
