five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
