some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
