she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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