is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize