Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
